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Humility

Let your work speak for itself. If you have to tell people how hard your worked, you didn’t work hard at all. People with integrity work quietly, do more than they are asked, then give credit to everyone else. They do such a good job they make their job look easy. It is not until someone on the outside tries to fill their shoes that they see how truly difficult this person’s job is. Yet, they never once complained, asked for praise, or took the credit. We also call this humility.

Someone who boasts and brags has nothing to brag about. That is why they have to use words. A successful person doesn’t have to tell the world they are successful. They are confident and satisfied with the accomplishment of reaching their goals. Their goals were set for themselves, not to please others. This is one of the key components to becoming successful. You do it because you love it; you do it because it’s what you want, not what everyone else wants.

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Remember The Inherent Worth of Every Individual

From the moment I saw her, I felt an instant dislike. She had a rugged appearance, with tattoos covering her face, neck, and arms. Her walk exuded a cockiness that made it clear she wouldn’t take nonsense from anyone. She spent her time smoking and asserting her powerful presence in the yard.

Whenever I encountered a new inmate, my first thought was always, “What did they do to end up here?” My initial assumptions were usually “drugs” or “DUI.” However, as I got to know more about people, I realized their stories were often much more complex.

One woman was in for theft and trespassing after living in a deceased man’s house for over a year. His family, who lived out of state, were waiting for the courts to settle his estate before putting the house on the market. In the meantime, the fully furnished house sat vacant. She knew about his family situation and decided to move in. While living there, she found a collection of rare coins, which she pawned to buy groceries. Another woman was in for arson after setting her condescending boss’s house and cars on fire in an act of revenge.

However, most of the women I met had done things many others have done – shoplifting a shirt, driving home from happy hour buzzed, or falsely applying for unemployment and food stamps because their current jobs didn’t pay the rent. They just happened to be the unlucky ones who got caught. Regardless of the cause, guilty or innocent, during my stay, I realized that every single person means something to somebody.

One day, as I was returning from work, the gate officer was letting a family in for a weekday visit. We stood in line patiently, waiting for the guests to be processed. Soon, a little boy, about four years old, came running through the gates toward the visiting area. He was yelling, “Mom! Mom! I’m here! I finally get to see you! Mom! It’s me, I’m here!” He was calling for his mother, whom he hadn’t seen in who knows how long. He was so excited that he couldn’t hold back, even though she was inside and couldn’t see or hear him. All of us witnessing this tender moment couldn’t help but shed some tears. The reunion hit home for all of us who were missing our families and friends. After a couple of minutes, his mother came out of the visiting area door – it was the rugged lady I had assumed was just a nobody acting tough for attention. However, she was a mother, loved, missed, and needed by this little boy.

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MINDFUL LIVING: SMALL CHANGES FOR BIG IMPACT

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the simple yet profound practices that can transform our daily lives. From recognizing the inherent worth of every individual to taking ownership of our emotions, these small shifts in perspective can lead to significant personal growth. Join me as I explore practical steps to enhance your daily routine, foster meaningful connections, and make conscious decisions that align with your values. Whether it’s preparing for the day ahead or challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone, these strategies are designed to help you live with intention and purpose.

  • Acknowledge the inherent worth of every individual. Remember, everyone is someone’s mother, daughter, friend, spouse, neighbor, or co-worker.
  • Replace “I’m sorry” with more intentional phrases. Use “I apologize” or “Excuse me” instead.
  • Own your emotions. We are responsible for our own feelings, and others are not in control of them.
  • Prepare for the day ahead the night before. Get excited to wake up and tackle the day by journaling, meditating, visualizing, making a to-do list, or setting out your clothes. If you dread morning tasks, do them the night before—lay out clothes, make coffee, prepare breakfast and lunch, shower, and tidy up.
  • Make mindful decisions. Ask yourself, “Do I need this?” “Will it detract from something more important?” “Will it positively contribute to my life?” “Can I live without it?”
  • Evaluate how you spend your time. Reflect on where you need to improve. Make a list of how you currently spend your time, how you wish to spend your time, and how you should spend your time. This will form your to-do list.
  • Challenge yourself. Put yourself in situations where you must act—sink or swim, fail or succeed. Consider if these actions align with your intentions.
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The Unseen Shift: Laundry, Life Lessons, and Liberation

Sharing the overnight shift with Geri for three months, and also being roommates, meant our lives intertwined completely. Initially, Geri’s work ethic—or apparent lack thereof—was a source of irritation for me. She seemed more captivated by the perks of free coffee and snacks than the modest bi-weekly paycheck. Often, mere minutes into our shift, she’d retreat to snack on Cheez-Its and trail mix, leaving me to tackle the mountain of inmate laundry solo.

As time passed, Geri opened up about her life. Raised by drug-addicted career criminals, she was no stranger to the inside of a jail cell, having been in and out of the system since her teens. Her father was serving a life sentence, while her mother was nearing the end of hers. Geri’s own life had been a series of hustles.

One evening, she surprised me with a compliment, calling me the hardest worker she’d ever met. She confessed to only having five jobs in her 36 years, none lasting more than two weeks. I was taken aback, having never encountered someone with such a background. But as weeks turned into months, our bond deepened. We shared stories, laughed till we cried, and found solace in each other’s company. Geri confided her struggle with sobriety, and I couldn’t help but express my admiration for the person she was without the influence of substances. I assured her that the Geri I knew—the sober Geri—was someone I’d be proud to call a friend outside these walls.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson about assumptions. We often project the worst onto others, assuming their intentions align with our prejudices. But Geri wasn’t lazy; she was simply doing her best with the hand she’d been dealt. Without work experience or role models, her understanding of work ethic was fundamentally different from mine. Recognizing this, I became a mentor rather than a critic, and soon, her efforts shone through.

Living your values is paramount. If you advocate for a life filled with laughter, love, and living to the fullest, then those principles should be evident in your actions. Are your values clear to those around you, or do they remain abstract concepts? Solidify your values by documenting them and consciously embodying them each day.

Work ethic is a cornerstone of my personal values. I commit wholeheartedly to every task, regardless of the compensation. My aim is always to leave a place better than I found it and to inspire my colleagues through example. Despite facing criticism for my diligence, I stood firm in my principles, unwilling to compromise my standards for the comfort of others. I didn’t expect everyone to match my intensity, but I did expect them to give their best.

When faced with someone who challenges your patience or angers you, ask yourself if they’re truly doing their best. This isn’t about excusing their behavior but rather understanding it from a new perspective. Evaluate them based on their actions and circumstances, not your preconceived notions. If they’re struggling in their current role, consider if there’s a better fit where they can make a meaningful contribution. Focus on nurturing greatness rather than dwelling on shortcomings.

*Names have been changed to protect individuals

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The Most Important Decision I Ever Made

I had lost the career I spent thirty years building. My reputation was in tatters. I had lost control of my life and hit rock bottom. As I sat contemplating my next steps, a sense of comfort washed over me. Raised in a religious family, I had good values instilled in me from an early age. Although I wasn’t a fan of organized religion, I knew God existed and believed Jesus Christ was my Savior, and at that moment I needed Him in my life. Could I build a relationship with Him without attending church?

I knelt down and prayed – something I had not done in years. With tears streaming down my face, I asked for help in learning to become a better person, and most importantly, seeking forgiveness. I promised to learn all I could and do my best to live a life aligned with the values I believed in. I vowed to be honest in all my words and actions from that moment forward.

It took months before I felt forgiven, but I knew I would be okay. I was no longer anxious about my future. I knew God had a plan for me. My mission on earth might be the people I meet in prison, it might be those following my story on the outside, or it might be collaborating with people I haven’t even met yet. One thing was certain: I was going to make the best use of my time. I would read, write, and learn as much as I could.

Over the next two years, I read more than 200 books, including the Bible and the Book of Mormon twice. I lost forty pounds, wrote thousands of pages of manuscript, brushed up on my French, and even memorized all the metric conversions. But most importantly, I became a better person. I discovered what truly mattered to me – my values. I learned to listen, put others first, be humble, serve others, control my emotions, and seek forgiveness. I even learned to be the first to apologize – without caring who was to blame. My mantra became, “It is not who you are, it is who you become.” We will never be perfect in this mortal life, but we can learn from our mistakes and become better human beings.

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Self-Discovery: Embracing My Unique Journey

It’s curious, isn’t it, how we often cast judgments on others, despite our own imperfections? Perhaps it’s an attempt to define ourselves by contrasting with those around us. Yet, this approach is flawed, for each of us is distinct, and no two paths in life are the same. My life is not a mirror of the girl living across the street; our journeys are separate, our experiences uniquely our own. Why then should I absorb her life’s moments instead of savoring the richness of my own, experienced through my own senses? The world I perceive is exclusively mine, a legacy I can enhance for future generations by cultivating new beauty for them to discover. These sanctuaries offer solace and splendor amidst life’s tumult.

The pursuit of understanding others can be an exhaustive endeavor, one that diverts energy from a more worthy quest: self-discovery. When the urge to judge arises, I’ll redirect my inquiry inward, exploring why the traits of a stranger resonate so deeply with me. Ultimately, it may reveal a yearning to understand myself. It’s time to let others be, to appreciate their inherent, divine uniqueness.

By noting moments of judgment and turning the lens on myself, I might just uncover the fascinating person within. I’ll invite her along for life’s ride, to experience the world through her own eyes, rather than vicariously through the perspectives of others. Let’s embrace our individuality and embark on a journey of self-exploration and authenticity.

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Learning From Past Mistakes

In the dance of light and shadow,
Emotions swirl, a spectrum vast.
Each feeling, a guide, a gentle echo,
Teaching lessons from the past.
 
The mirror of our soul reflects,
A journey through the night and day.
In moments of quiet introspect,
Wisdom whispers, lighting the way.
 
With every challenge, a new seed sown,
In the garden of experience, we find our might.
Resilience blooms, and strength is grown,
Guiding us from darkness to light.
 
Vulnerability, a bridge of trust,
Uniting hearts in shared endeavor.
Today’s choices, honest and just,
Craft a future, better than ever.
 
So ask each morn, with intention clear,
“What will make today truly great?”
Small actions, love, a moment to cheer,
Building a tomorrow we create.”

Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions

In the pursuit of personal growth, I’ve come to understand the importance of embracing the full spectrum of my emotions. Negative feelings, often shunned and feared, hold a mirror to our deepest insecurities and regrets. Yet, it is within these dark reflections that we find the most profound opportunities for growth. Acknowledging shame and embarrassment over past actions is not an act of self-condemnation but a courageous step towards self-awareness. These emotions are not permanent markers of identity but transient teachers guiding us towards better choices.

The Past as a Lesson, Not a Life Sentence

The past, with its myriad of mistakes, is not a life sentence but a lesson etched in the annals of time. It shapes us but does not define us. Each day, I stand at the helm of my destiny, steering away from the shadows of yesterday towards the light of a new dawn. As an honest, law-abiding citizen, I contribute positively to society, weaving the fabric of a community that thrives on mutual respect and support.

Learning and Growing Through Life’s Challenges

Life is an unending lesson, and I am its diligent student. With each challenge comes a new chapter of knowledge, and with each setback, a test of resilience. I am equipped with tools forged in the fires of experience and tempered by the wisdom of introspection. The tough days that loom ahead are not insurmountable obstacles but stepping stones on the path to becoming a better version of myself.

The Power of Vulnerability and Trust

Honesty is the cornerstone of my journey. Sharing my fears, hopes, and accomplishments with loved ones is an act of vulnerability that strengthens the bonds of trust. It is in these shared experiences that I find the strength to make good decisions. The future, often a source of anxiety, is a canvas waiting for the brushstrokes of today’s choices. By focusing on the present and taking life one day, one decision at a time, I build a resilient foundation for whatever tomorrow may bring.

Crafting a Great Today for a Better Tomorrow

Each morning, I ask myself, “What will make today great?” The answer lies in the small, purposeful actions that lay the groundwork for a better future. Whether it’s a kind gesture, a learned skill, or a moment of gratitude, these are the bricks that construct a life of fulfillment and joy. Today, I choose to act with intention, knowing that the seeds I plant now will blossom into the achievements of my future.

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A Transformative Journey

Enveloped in a profound experience, I was surrounded by women who once felt broken but are now rewriting their narratives. Where shadows once lingered, hope now shines brightly. The magnitude of transformation within each individual is nothing short of miraculous.

Betsy’s metamorphosis was remarkable. Initially perceived as shy and peculiar, she blossomed into a beacon of kindness and joy. Her humor, distinct and endearing, won the hearts of all. She vowed to fortify herself physically and mentally, vowing never to be vulnerable to exploitation again. If only I could convey to her daughters, the collective affection we hold for her; she strives tirelessly to be the mother and grandmother they deserve.

Shanyce arrived with a boisterous spirit and a deep love for Jesus. Initially, she squandered her days in idle pursuits, but as she observed the positive transformations around her, a spark ignited within. Embracing belief, her life began to align in her favor. She mended ties with her children, emerged as a leader advocating for positive change, and embraced a healthier lifestyle. With each stride, she grew in stature and self-love, leaving no room for doubt that her past was behind her.

The potency of a collective desire for self-improvement is indescribable. It spreads fervently, uniting us in support and encouragement without judgment. We acknowledge our transgressions, seeking forgiveness from loved ones and victims alike, as we accept responsibility and endure our sentences.

In this place, the divine is palpable. Those who once doubted find solace in faith, turning to it for sustenance. The freedom to worship leads to bibles becoming cherished companions. While some may depart and leave their faith behind, others will carry a rekindled belief in Christ, steadfast and transformative. Many of these women will touch lives and guide others to divine grace. Hence, the provision of diverse religious materials in prisons is crucial in disseminating faith.

To transform oneself is to let go of yesterday. The transformed do not crave the validation of the trivial but take comfort in their beliefs. They are confident, for they empower each other. They are beautiful, individually crafted in the strength of their trials. Though confined, they find liberation, no longer subject to the scrutiny of onlookers. Loved so dearly and with the promise of forgiveness and a new life.

* Names have been altered for privacy.