Tag: #positivity

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Holding the Line: Loyalty and Change at ASU Baseball

After five years as the ASU Men’s Baseball Team Manager, I transitioned into the role of Administrative Assistant to the head coach. This role was meant to keep me involved in the university’s baseball program, with the goal of eventually working my way up into the front offices of the baseball world. However, shortly after returning from the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska, our head coach passed away after a battle with liver cancer. He was my mentor, my advocate, and the most influential person in my life up to that point.

Suddenly, I was thrown into the midst of running an athletic office, while only familiar with the on-field processes. The university began searching for a new head coach immediately. I was convinced one of our assistant coaches would be promoted. Bill Kinneberg was a strong contender, though his status as an alumni of our rival, University of Arizona, made him a less-popular choice with the hiring committee. Despite his three years as our pitching coach, the prestigious head coach position was not decided by the previous coaching staff.

Within a couple of weeks, the new hire was announced: Pat Murphy from Notre Dame. He was young, enthusiastic, and eager to start. The athletic department was excited about their decision, and Coach Murphy arrived the very next day. However, the existing coaching staff was less thrilled, a sentiment I did not fully understand until I began working under him. Murphy was arrogant and constantly boasted about his connections and plans to change ASU baseball.

The problem was, ASU Baseball was already the most prestigious NCAA Division I baseball program, with a long list of alumni who had made it to the Big Leagues. Murphy’s desire to change the program seemed unnecessary, but he wasted no time in doing so. Within a week, he had fired the entire coaching staff. I was the only familiar face left in the baseball program. I felt indispensable, as Murphy needed my help to navigate the procedures, introduce him to the players, and show him the facilities.

Despite my administrative role, I longed to be back on the field, where I thrived and stood out among my peers. My true talents lay in setting up batting stations, compiling statistics, and tracking spray charts. I was the one who kept the dugout running smoothly during practices and games. Fans, boosters, sports writers, alumni, umpires, and players relied on me as Packard Stadium’s curator. I was not meant to sit at a desk on the fifth floor of the ICA Building, dressed in business attire and working behind the scenes.

Murphy did not like my close relationships with the players and the Brock Family. He wanted me to be impartial and loyal solely to him and his new crew. This was difficult, as I bled maroon and gold, while they still had Fighting Irish running through their veins.

During that first week, I fielded phone calls from legendary athletes like Brian Urlacher and Pat Leahy. Murphy always took calls from famous people, while everyone else received a message of, “He’s not available right now. Can I leave him a message?” His overconfidence was too much, and I never felt comfortable in his presence. I wanted things to be the way they had always been-classic Sun Devil Baseball heritage and pride. The common joyful exchange between players, coaches and fans. A commitment to excellence for the program’s sake, not a personal pedestal to become self-important.

To be continued in next week’s blog post

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When Optimism Isn’t Enough: Identifying Depression’s Clues

Recognizing the Signs

One morning, I woke up feeling like a shadow of myself. The spark that once lit up my days had dimmed, leaving me feeling like just another face in the crowd. Then, a memory popped up on my Facebook page about signs of depression. To my surprise, every item on the list resonated with me. Was I really going through depression? I didn’t feel sad. I thought I was being optimistic. After all, hadn’t I been cured? Over the next day, I scrutinized every thought and feeling. Yes, I was in an episode of depression.

Understanding My Behavior

Depression doesn’t always look like sadness or isolation. For me, it was the subtle yet destructive habit of pushing people away with curt responses and irritability. I found myself snapping at loved ones and feeling annoyed by the smallest things. I was present, smiling, but not truly listening. Other behaviors that undermined my self-esteem included:

  • Unhealthy eating habits: Consuming foods that made me feel worse.
  • Disconnecting from friends and family: Making excuses about being too busy or having nothing to say.
  • Neglecting activities that are important to me: Writing, organizing, and basic self-care routines.

Reconnecting with My Values

Thinking you have it all figured out doesn’t mean you do. You still need to return to the basics, to the foundational practices that got you where you are. Personally, I need to reassess my values and principles and align my actions with them. They may evolve over time, as life changes. The key is knowing what’s most important to me and living in a way that supports those priorities. Otherwise, I drift away from what matters most, leading me away from my best self until I no longer recognize or love myself when I act against my values and principles.

Focusing on What Matters

I know I can succeed in my relationships with others. I have much to share. I am better than the person I’ve felt and believed myself to be over the past month. It’s time to reconnect with the relationships that matter most to me—my spouse, my family, my friends. These are the things that bring me happiness, not money, possessions, or my status in the workplace.

“Have you ever felt this way? What steps did you take to reconnect with your true self? Share your journey in the comments below.”

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A Transformative Journey

Enveloped in a profound experience, I was surrounded by women who once felt broken but are now rewriting their narratives. Where shadows once lingered, hope now shines brightly. The magnitude of transformation within each individual is nothing short of miraculous.

Betsy’s metamorphosis was remarkable. Initially perceived as shy and peculiar, she blossomed into a beacon of kindness and joy. Her humor, distinct and endearing, won the hearts of all. She vowed to fortify herself physically and mentally, vowing never to be vulnerable to exploitation again. If only I could convey to her daughters, the collective affection we hold for her; she strives tirelessly to be the mother and grandmother they deserve.

Shanyce arrived with a boisterous spirit and a deep love for Jesus. Initially, she squandered her days in idle pursuits, but as she observed the positive transformations around her, a spark ignited within. Embracing belief, her life began to align in her favor. She mended ties with her children, emerged as a leader advocating for positive change, and embraced a healthier lifestyle. With each stride, she grew in stature and self-love, leaving no room for doubt that her past was behind her.

The potency of a collective desire for self-improvement is indescribable. It spreads fervently, uniting us in support and encouragement without judgment. We acknowledge our transgressions, seeking forgiveness from loved ones and victims alike, as we accept responsibility and endure our sentences.

In this place, the divine is palpable. Those who once doubted find solace in faith, turning to it for sustenance. The freedom to worship leads to bibles becoming cherished companions. While some may depart and leave their faith behind, others will carry a rekindled belief in Christ, steadfast and transformative. Many of these women will touch lives and guide others to divine grace. Hence, the provision of diverse religious materials in prisons is crucial in disseminating faith.

To transform oneself is to let go of yesterday. The transformed do not crave the validation of the trivial but take comfort in their beliefs. They are confident, for they empower each other. They are beautiful, individually crafted in the strength of their trials. Though confined, they find liberation, no longer subject to the scrutiny of onlookers. Loved so dearly and with the promise of forgiveness and a new life.

* Names have been altered for privacy.

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Attitude

“It often takes just a single brave person to change the trajectory of a family, or any system for that matter.” – Brené Brown; Rising Strong.

Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed? The alarm fails to go off, your coffee spills, and traffic seems ten times worse than usual. When everything that could go wrong does, we tend to blame it on the full moon or the alignment of the stars, as if everyone’s agitation is synchronized. The truth is, our attitude influences how people treat us and how we perceive others. You’ve heard the saying, “One bad apple can spoil the whole basket.” Conversely, one good seed can create a beautiful garden.

Imagine a field of wildflowers. The wind scatters seeds across a vacant lot or even into a front yard, and soon, flowers bloom where none stood before. These flowers can form a stunning bouquet for your home or office, shared with neighbors or friends. If the flowers in your yard are particularly beautiful, they might cause passersby to slow down or even detour just to admire them.

Flowers have the power to brighten a gloomy room and introduce beauty where it was absent, altering the atmosphere. How do you change the atmosphere around you? Are you the source of joy and light in a room? Do you make every place you visit better for everyone? Are people comfortable being themselves around you? Does your cheerful outlook boost others’ confidence? Do they leave your presence smiling, encouraged to do better? “The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell like flowers,” says Max Lucado.

When things go awry, it’s not about who’s at fault. What matters is your attitude, and you are solely responsible for it. When I choose positivity, I am happier, and it seems to rub off on those around me. Everyone carries an element, an environment, and an energy. How aware are you of yours? Every flower starts from a seed, and the flower’s potential depends on what we do with that seed. Do you want to be happy tomorrow? Then sow seeds of happiness today.

A centenarian once reflected on his life, saying, “I don’t have many failures. If I’m making a cake and it fails, it becomes pudding.” His optimism redefines what many would consider a failure into a success. While in prison, I maintained a daily journal, expressing gratitude for my freedoms—a surprising sentiment given my circumstances. My job allowed me to leave the prison yard four days a week, providing a semblance of freedom. I chose to focus on these liberties rather than wallow in self-pity, and each day, I found joy in them.

The happiest and most successful people possess the best attitudes. Attitude is essential for navigating tough times. You can’t afford to let your spirits drop when it matters most. Remember, attitude isn’t hereditary—it’s contagious. Don’t be the source of negativity in your circle, and resist being dragged down by others’ misery. Lay the groundwork for positivity with better habits.