The lack of resources for inmates upon their release is a glaring issue. Many have lost their homes while incarcerated, and most have no money or family support. There needs to be a system in place to assist them. One woman, who had been physically abused, refused to return home. She left everything behind—her clothes, phone, and any semblance of security. They offered her numbers to call upon release, but without a phone or a single dime to her name, those numbers were useless. She said she would rather curl up behind a dumpster somewhere than face the uncertainty outside. Jail, for her, was a place of warmth, safety, and the guarantee of a shower and three meals a day.
There should be a state representative available to meet with inmates before their release to help set up food stamps, emergency housing, transportation, and other essential services. The situation is even more dire for the mentally ill. They are often released with nowhere to go, leading them to end up back in jail or worse, dead. The mentally ill are not required to take medication while incarcerated, causing their conditions to deteriorate. One girl with severe schizophrenia had not taken her medication during her time in jail. We watched her mental state worsen until she had to be moved to the mental health ward.
The cycle is vicious and unrelenting. Without proper support, these individuals are set up to fail. They need more than just a list of phone numbers—they need tangible assistance and a real chance at rebuilding their lives. The system must change to provide the necessary resources and support to help them reintegrate into society successfully.
One of the greatest areas of personal growth I experienced was learning to let go of what others thought of me. Initially, I was overly cautious about everything I did and said. I was terrified to speak up for myself, convinced that everyone was judging me constantly.
A defining moment of bravery and assertiveness occurred one day while I was standing in the medication line. The line would start forming an hour before the nurses arrived to dispense medication. By the time the nurses got there, the line stretched to 100-150 people—everyone took medication in prison! One afternoon, with nothing better to do, I ensured my spot was around number 15. The weather was perfect, and I was practicing patience.
After standing in line for over 45 minutes, the nurses finally arrived, and the line ahead of me suddenly doubled. I found myself around number 50. Though irritated, I was initially too afraid to say anything. These girls were tough, unafraid to start a fight, many of them with serious personality disorders and anger issues.
When the girl in front of me let four other ladies cut in line, I’d had enough. I spoke up, reminding them there was no cutting. The lady laughed it off, but I persisted. “I’ve been standing here for 45 minutes while these girls slept, smoked, and went about their day. If they want to be at the front, they need to arrive early like I did,” I said calmly.
Though the girl hurled profanities, I stood my ground. “If you want to let your friends cut in front of me, you’ll have to do it behind me,” I insisted, moving ahead of them in line. Despite the cussing, they didn’t try to touch me physically. Soon, everyone else in line started praising my bravery and told the lady that her group had to move behind them as well. Despite my fear of confrontation, I stood my ground and defended myself and others who were being wronged. A few days later, that same lady approached me in line to apologize.
Over time, I began to shed my shyness and fear of those around me. However, entering a new environment would often trigger my retreat back into a quiet, unassertive person, allowing others to walk all over me. After about a year, my timidity diminished. I became braver and gradually rid myself of the shyness that had plagued me all my life. Suddenly, I was no longer afraid to speak my mind, ask for what I needed, or express what bothered me. I found ways to approach people in a non-confrontational manner, maintaining kindness and earning respect in return.
Being surrounded by a diverse group of people for such an extended period completely transformed me. I observed others being their authentic selves, unafraid of judgment. Conversely, I saw people who conformed to those around them, losing their authenticity and looking ridiculous as a result. I longed to tell them to be themselves because mimicking someone else rarely resulted in a favorable outcome.
Bravery and assertiveness are crucial skills that can transform challenging situations into opportunities for growth and resolution. Whether you’re navigating a difficult conversation, standing up for yourself, or making a tough decision, these qualities can make a significant difference in your personal and professional life. Here’s how you can cultivate bravery and assertiveness:
Understanding Bravery and Assertiveness
Bravery is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act despite it. It involves taking risks, facing uncertainty, and embracing vulnerability.
Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs confidently and respectfully. It’s about standing up for yourself while also considering the perspectives and rights of others.
Steps to Become Braver and More Assertive
Self-Reflection
Understand your fears and what triggers them. Reflect on past experiences where you felt brave or assertive and identify what helped you in those moments.
Set Clear Boundaries
Know your limits and communicate them clearly. Being assertive means respecting your own boundaries as well as others’.
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with kindness and recognize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Self-compassion can boost your confidence and resilience.
Communicate Effectively
Use “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings. For example, “I feel [emotion] when [situation]” instead of blaming others.
Face Your Fears Gradually
Start small and gradually take on bigger challenges. Each small victory will build your confidence and bravery over time.
Visualize Success
Picture yourself handling tough situations with confidence and calm. Visualization can prepare your mind for real-life scenarios.
Seek Support
Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and believe in you. Sometimes, having a strong support system can make all the difference.
Stay Grounded
Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to stay present and focused during tough situations. This can help you remain calm and collected.
Embracing Challenges
Being brave and assertive doesn’t mean you won’t feel fear or anxiety. It means you acknowledge these feelings and move forward anyway. Each time you choose bravery and assertiveness, you strengthen these muscles, making it easier to handle tough situations in the future. Remember, growth often comes from stepping outside your comfort zone.
Embrace the journey, celebrate your progress, and keep pushing forward. You have the power within you to face any challenge with courage and confidence.
I hope this helps inspire you to tackle tough situations with bravery and assertiveness! If you have any specific scenarios please share! I want to hear your stories.
After twenty-eight months away, going through all my stored clothing, hygiene products, and other fun items felt like a massive shopping spree. It was a real treat to rediscover my collection of body lotions, makeup, and outfits—enough to keep me from shopping for quite a while.
Among my treasures was a box of perfumes, including some barely used, expensive brands. I started wearing a bit each morning, sure it would turn heads. One Tuesday afternoon, my husband asked if I’d been drinking. I laughed it off, but he insisted, saying I smelled of alcohol—a scent he recognized from his childhood around alcoholics.
It hit me: it could be my perfume. I sprayed a fresh spritz on my wrist, and sure enough, he confirmed it. I was mortified, recalling all the places I’d been smelling like that. Despite the cost, I knew it was time to throw out the old bottle. The perfume no longer served its purpose.
Think about the things you keep that no longer serve their purpose. Is it an out-of-style shirt, worn-out VHS tapes, or a tattered designer purse? We often hold onto items because of their cost, but they rarely retain their value. This clutter prevents us from making room for new, valuable items.
When we downsized a few years ago, we had to get rid of half our coffee mugs, kitchen tools, and clothes. Now, we only buy new items if they replace something we already have, saving us money and space.
November is my month to clear out my two storage units, practicing what I preach. I challenge you to get rid of one thing that no longer serves a purpose. Just one thing. Then, share with me what it was and how it made you feel!
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
I have always been a spiritual person, but organized religion never appealed to me. Growing up in a religious family and community where over 90% of the people belonged to the same church, I had little exposure to other religions. This limited perspective led to a biased view. In college, a religious studies class further solidified my skepticism towards organized religion, as it delved into the origins and diverse beliefs of various faiths.
Fast forward thirty years, and I found myself incarcerated with women who, by all accounts, should have no interest in religion. The common perception is that prison equates to evil, suggesting a pervasive presence of negativity. However, I was astonished to discover that prison was one of the most spiritual places I had ever been. In a place where hope seemed lost, where lives were disrupted, and where families and friends had often abandoned them, religion provided a beacon of hope.
In prison, no one was judged for reading faith-based books or attending religious services. Whether it was Catholic, Christian, Seventh-day Adventist, or Muslim services, women attended to find solace and hope. For many, God was the only source of hope they had left.
One afternoon, while sitting under a tree, a woman mentioned she was going to Catholic services to partake in communion. This sparked a conversation about our diverse religious beliefs, and someone remarked, “I have never felt the spirit more strongly than I feel it here.” It wasn’t about a specific religion; it was about the freedom to worship in a way that brought hope, without judgment. Watching TBN or spending hours reading scriptures was respected and understood as a necessity during that time in our lives.
I realize that many people leave prison and never attend church or read the Bible again. But for some, the experience is transformative. Their transformation behind prison fences may inspire others, creating a chain of hope that extends beyond the prison walls. Access to a variety of religious materials in prison is as crucial as educational resources. It was the key to my success, and I witnessed its impact on many women. If my life was changed, imagine how many others could be transformed with access to religious materials.
How can we ensure that prisons continue to receive a diverse range of religious materials? Have you ever experienced spiritual influence in an unexpected place?
One morning, I woke up feeling like a shadow of myself. The spark that once lit up my days had dimmed, leaving me feeling like just another face in the crowd. Then, a memory popped up on my Facebook page about signs of depression. To my surprise, every item on the list resonated with me. Was I really going through depression? I didn’t feel sad. I thought I was being optimistic. After all, hadn’t I been cured? Over the next day, I scrutinized every thought and feeling. Yes, I was in an episode of depression.
Understanding My Behavior
Depression doesn’t always look like sadness or isolation. For me, it was the subtle yet destructive habit of pushing people away with curt responses and irritability. I found myself snapping at loved ones and feeling annoyed by the smallest things. I was present, smiling, but not truly listening. Other behaviors that undermined my self-esteem included:
Unhealthy eating habits: Consuming foods that made me feel worse.
Disconnecting from friends and family: Making excuses about being too busy or having nothing to say.
Neglecting activities that are important to me: Writing, organizing, and basic self-care routines.
Reconnecting with My Values
Thinking you have it all figured out doesn’t mean you do. You still need to return to the basics, to the foundational practices that got you where you are. Personally, I need to reassess my values and principles and align my actions with them. They may evolve over time, as life changes. The key is knowing what’s most important to me and living in a way that supports those priorities. Otherwise, I drift away from what matters most, leading me away from my best self until I no longer recognize or love myself when I act against my values and principles.
Focusing on What Matters
I know I can succeed in my relationships with others. I have much to share. I am better than the person I’ve felt and believed myself to be over the past month. It’s time to reconnect with the relationships that matter most to me—my spouse, my family, my friends. These are the things that bring me happiness, not money, possessions, or my status in the workplace.
“Have you ever felt this way? What steps did you take to reconnect with your true self? Share your journey in the comments below.”
Let your work speak for itself. If you have to tell people how hard your worked, you didn’t work hard at all. People with integrity work quietly, do more than they are asked, then give credit to everyone else. They do such a good job they make their job look easy. It is not until someone on the outside tries to fill their shoes that they see how truly difficult this person’s job is. Yet, they never once complained, asked for praise, or took the credit. We also call this humility.
Someone who boasts and brags has nothing to brag about. That is why they have to use words. A successful person doesn’t have to tell the world they are successful. They are confident and satisfied with the accomplishment of reaching their goals. Their goals were set for themselves, not to please others. This is one of the key components to becoming successful. You do it because you love it; you do it because it’s what you want, not what everyone else wants.
Sharing the overnight shift with Geri for three months, and also being roommates, meant our lives intertwined completely. Initially, Geri’s work ethic—or apparent lack thereof—was a source of irritation for me. She seemed more captivated by the perks of free coffee and snacks than the modest bi-weekly paycheck. Often, mere minutes into our shift, she’d retreat to snack on Cheez-Its and trail mix, leaving me to tackle the mountain of inmate laundry solo.
As time passed, Geri opened up about her life. Raised by drug-addicted career criminals, she was no stranger to the inside of a jail cell, having been in and out of the system since her teens. Her father was serving a life sentence, while her mother was nearing the end of hers. Geri’s own life had been a series of hustles.
One evening, she surprised me with a compliment, calling me the hardest worker she’d ever met. She confessed to only having five jobs in her 36 years, none lasting more than two weeks. I was taken aback, having never encountered someone with such a background. But as weeks turned into months, our bond deepened. We shared stories, laughed till we cried, and found solace in each other’s company. Geri confided her struggle with sobriety, and I couldn’t help but express my admiration for the person she was without the influence of substances. I assured her that the Geri I knew—the sober Geri—was someone I’d be proud to call a friend outside these walls.
This experience taught me a valuable lesson about assumptions. We often project the worst onto others, assuming their intentions align with our prejudices. But Geri wasn’t lazy; she was simply doing her best with the hand she’d been dealt. Without work experience or role models, her understanding of work ethic was fundamentally different from mine. Recognizing this, I became a mentor rather than a critic, and soon, her efforts shone through.
Living your values is paramount. If you advocate for a life filled with laughter, love, and living to the fullest, then those principles should be evident in your actions. Are your values clear to those around you, or do they remain abstract concepts? Solidify your values by documenting them and consciously embodying them each day.
Work ethic is a cornerstone of my personal values. I commit wholeheartedly to every task, regardless of the compensation. My aim is always to leave a place better than I found it and to inspire my colleagues through example. Despite facing criticism for my diligence, I stood firm in my principles, unwilling to compromise my standards for the comfort of others. I didn’t expect everyone to match my intensity, but I did expect them to give their best.
When faced with someone who challenges your patience or angers you, ask yourself if they’re truly doing their best. This isn’t about excusing their behavior but rather understanding it from a new perspective. Evaluate them based on their actions and circumstances, not your preconceived notions. If they’re struggling in their current role, consider if there’s a better fit where they can make a meaningful contribution. Focus on nurturing greatness rather than dwelling on shortcomings.
I had lost the career I spent thirty years building. My reputation was in tatters. I had lost control of my life and hit rock bottom. As I sat contemplating my next steps, a sense of comfort washed over me. Raised in a religious family, I had good values instilled in me from an early age. Although I wasn’t a fan of organized religion, I knew God existed and believed Jesus Christ was my Savior, and at that moment I needed Him in my life. Could I build a relationship with Him without attending church?
I knelt down and prayed – something I had not done in years. With tears streaming down my face, I asked for help in learning to become a better person, and most importantly, seeking forgiveness. I promised to learn all I could and do my best to live a life aligned with the values I believed in. I vowed to be honest in all my words and actions from that moment forward.
It took months before I felt forgiven, but I knew I would be okay. I was no longer anxious about my future. I knew God had a plan for me. My mission on earth might be the people I meet in prison, it might be those following my story on the outside, or it might be collaborating with people I haven’t even met yet. One thing was certain: I was going to make the best use of my time. I would read, write, and learn as much as I could.
Over the next two years, I read more than 200 books, including the Bible and the Book of Mormon twice. I lost forty pounds, wrote thousands of pages of manuscript, brushed up on my French, and even memorized all the metric conversions. But most importantly, I became a better person. I discovered what truly mattered to me – my values. I learned to listen, put others first, be humble, serve others, control my emotions, and seek forgiveness. I even learned to be the first to apologize – without caring who was to blame. My mantra became, “It is not who you are, it is who you become.” We will never be perfect in this mortal life, but we can learn from our mistakes and become better human beings.
B2tRUE 